Talk:Bowen Byram
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Latest comment: 4 years ago by GhostRiver in topic GA Review
| Bowen Byram has been listed as one of the Sports and recreation good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. Review: January 29, 2022. (Reviewed version). |
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GA Review
[edit]| GA toolbox |
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| Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Bowen Byram/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: AryKun (talk · contribs) 17:59, 25 January 2022 (UTC)
- Will do soon. AryKun (talk) 17:59, 25 January 2022 (UTC)
- "After only 19 regular" → "After playing only 19 regular"
- Modified to
playing in
as technically more correct, since he was not on the ice all 60 minutes.
- Modified to
- Why is Colorado Avalanche italicized in the infobox?
- It's a quirk of the infobox itself; the "team" parameter automatically italicizes.
- "midget hockey" → Link.
- Added.
- "part of a 5–2 defeat of the Regina Pats" → "part of a 5–2 victory over the Regina Pats" would be better and less confusing
- Modified.
- "his 16-year season" → How can a season be 16 years long?
- Clarified as
16-year-old season
.
- Clarified as
- "helped the team to clinch" → The "to" is unnecessary.
- Removed.
- "first Vancouver Giant in history" → "first Vancouver Giant ever" would be better
- Changed to
to ever receive
.
- Changed to
- "receive four negative tests for the COVID-19 virus" → COVID-19 virus doesn't make sense, "test negative for COVID-19 four times" would be better
- Modified but included the tests, because production of four physical test results was the qualification. It seems pedantic, but considering false positives and negatives, I want to be precise with what was actually being asked.
- "playing in 11 minutes" → "playing for 11 minutes"
- Changed.
- "he absorbed his third concussion" → Absorbed doesn't seem like the right verb
- Modified to "sustained".
- Refs are all good.
AryKun All points addressed; please see this diff. Thank you for your prompt review and excellent suggestions! — GhostRiver 16:35, 28 January 2022 (UTC)
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